These words by the artist formerly known as Kim Boekbinder and currently known as Max Fractal.
Inside of me there are two wolves.
One wolf howls at the moon. The other wolf is sleeping. A third wolf makes me feel guilty for not being better at marketing my art. A fourth wolf tells me that no wolf would ever care about marketing.
Another wolf is chasing me, which is confusing, because the wolf is inside me. But still it chases me. And another wolf is chasing that wolf. Yet another wolf is going round and round in circles, chasing its own tail.
Meanwhile, a shadow wolf slinks silently beside me (inside me) and makes me feel powerful beyond measure, just by being there. But another wolf, a wolf that changes size in the blink of an eye, sometimes small like a buzzing mosquito, sometimes immense like fog rolling over hills… that wolf doesn’t say anything but it crushes me when it can, crushes the air out of my lungs, the thoughts out of my mind, the love of life out of my heart.
Another wolf is laughing. And another wolf is crying. DJ wolf is remixing my new song. One wolf is made of wood, and one is made of fire. Another wolf is adding up my monthly bills, it tells me things aren’t looking so good. Another wolf is my rent. Another wolf is a war. Another wolf is my helplessness in the face of it all. Another wolf is the wolf I mentioned before, a shadow that makes me feel whole.
One wolf is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, another wolf is beautiful beyond measure.
There is a wolf at the door (inside me) and another wolf is answering the door, those two wolves start to fight, tearing each apart with unmitigated fury. Both of these wolves are me/not me/me (inside me.)
Last night’s wolf was a bottle of whiskey, today’s wolf is a headache and a lingering sense of dread. Tomorrow’s wolf is nipping at my heels. My mother’s wolf is forgetting me slowly. My father’s wolf is eating its own heart. My ancestor wolves were killed by wolves.
Every wolf inside me is howling for a ceasefire.
One wolf is cooking dinner, another wolf is spilling the milk, a pixelated wolf sidles up to sell me NFTs and then blips out of existence before my next breath. A grey wolf is watching me, silently. Another wolf is grieving the loss of connection we all used to find here on this thing we call the internet. Another wolf is telling me to move on.
One wolf brings me flowers, another wolf is haranguing me for not doing more. More what? Whatever it is you aren’t doing enough of. That.
One wolf is making the bed and kissing me good morning, another wolf is telling me to sleep all day, what does it matter. Another wolf is dragging me under the waves. Another wolf is whispering that everything will be ok.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch the shadow wolf smiling at me: you are whole.
Inside of me there are two wolves.
Plus a bunch of other wolves.
Brilliantly written, I felt every part of it. My wolves are sending love to your wolves 🖤
I love this. Expecting it to be a song somewhere. The wind is probably singing it over the hills.